


Ed Twitter

by romanti3dnf4



Category: Dream SMP RPF, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anorexia, Eating Disorder, Gen, Purging, Self Harm, Willbur Soot Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-22 15:15:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30040656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanti3dnf4/pseuds/romanti3dnf4
Summary: Willbur couldn't believe that people starved themselves- what was the point in not eating when your perfect the way you are? When he started his second account-- it was more a private account for just his friends- he begun to change no longer thinking what he once  thought about starvation.-Or When..Willbur become obsessed with this 'perfect' lifestyle portayed on the internet. Only to realise it wasn't as good as he thought it  was.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW: ED, PURGING, SELF HARM ETC
> 
> If Willbur ever says he is uncomfortable with these types of stories like this I will take it down :)
> 
> This is just a vent fic!!

Willbur always wondered why people would starve themself to get that sense of skinniness that meant nothing to him .

Wilbur knew some people had eating disorders but he knew that he would never struggle with one, he was a man and that must of been frowned upon is some sort of way. Plus you could say Will was happy with how he looked- atleast that was what he thought until he stumbled upon one tweet that made his stomach turn inside out and make him feel somewhat sick.

He was scrolling on his second account following random people who seemed to be obsessed over their bodies and than he came across something on his feed that made queasy. Someone attached a picture of themselves, their ribs were poking out and their stomach was the flattest you could have ever seen- their hipbones sticking out proudly. You could see the corner of their sharp jawline on the frame and they had a crooked smile on their face, the frame stopped right under their eyes but you could see how unhealthy they looked. But for some reason Will thought that was beautiful after a couple more minutes of looking at the photo.

He clicked onto the account and scrolled down until there was another body checking- willbur had been studying their tweets for the past 20 minutes not even noticing the time going by because of the transe he was in. This body check was a picture of their thighs, they looked so beautiful. Their knee caps stuck out and their legs looked like part of a skeleteon.

And ever since Willbur looked at that picture that night you could say he copied the person on every single thing they did- no matter how hard it was.

It was like he was obsessed - like a fan really.

Willbur decided that night that he would start to go on the diet that person was following, after a couple more minutes of looking at tweets from the start of their small twitter account he soon realised how many calories the person had a day in the early stages of their diet.

800 calories a day for two weeks- after researching he realised the person only ever binged one time.

And WIllbur thinks its possible he could pull that off maybe even without the binging.

After all- it was just another healthy diet that everyone does once in a while to loose weight for a perfect summer body.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willbur relapses.

It had two days since he started this diet-- Willbur learnt to love the feeling of being empty in such a short amount of time. It was unusual sure but he learnt to love it because of the things he read online. Sometimes he would want to eat something big like ice cream or some cheese but he knew he couldn't- he had decided between safe foods and fear food and he knew he was only aloud a couple of things a day. He found himself having one meal and a couple fruits-- sometimes he would have a fruit salad or an apple if he wasn't up for eating that much like the day before when he was streaming for half the fucking day. Willbur learnt to ignore people asking him if he wanted anything- nobody really talked to him outside of the minecraft shit and discord calls he was forced to join by an eager tommyinnit who looked up to willbur as if he was a brother. Willbur found it easy to lie now, he soon realised nobody cared about him after time they just used him for free therapy.

Nobody seemed to notice about willbur's drop in weight- willbur found himself feeling even more down but more motivated that nobody commented on it. It had been four days and he had lost 1kg so far, he didn't see any changes in the mirror and it killed him inside. He knew he had only been dieting for a couple days but he wanted to see results faster, so he decided to not have the snack anymore and just stick with that one healthy meal inbetween sleeping and streaming that could fuel him for the rest of the day. Willbur saw no problem in that- people with eating disorders didn't eat meals according to the internet so he knew he was staying healthy by eating one meal.

He counted every calorie that went in his mouth, the pressure on him causing him to start smoking again. Smoking made you loose weight apparently- also cocaine did but willbur wouldn't try that ever in his life so he would stick with the healthier option. Willbur found himself smoking atleast a packet a day to deal with the hunger pains in his stomach, he wanted to be that unhealthy that he would get dizzy whenever he moved or would pass out sometimes but it didn't happen just yet. He had been searching up eating disorders on twitter at the moment, after five days of eating under 800 calories he felt proud really. He had to stream tomorrow and he decided that maybe tomorrow he could try fasting- everyone fasted atleast once in their diet. It was all over this side of twitter, you would only drink water and smoke if you had too so you could supress your hunger. Willbur felt as if he needed to do it if he wanted to be valid and get the results he wanted- maybe his weight would drop more easily if he started fasting? 

As Willbur started to research more he came across another tag, wearily he clicked on it and coming up on his screen was a tweet of someone with cuts all over their wrist, some of their arm was still bleeding and the cuts were open. Willbur felt the whole in his heart he used to get and he quickly reached out for the water on his nightstand, downing a lot of it and than going back to scroll down. There were hundreds of posts of people just posting pictures of their fresh cuts, and willbur maybe wanted to be one of those people. Willbur stopped self harming about two weeks ago, deciding to go clean for his viewers. But they didn't care, the thoughts were getting to him now and it didnt really matter if he relapsed. Its not like it was anyones bussiness if he was clean or not and what was the point of staying clean for people he didn't even know- they were just numbers on a fucking screen. Willbur peered over at his bathroom, rethinking what he was doing but before he knew it he was grasping his phone and closing the bathroom door behind him falling onto the bathroom tiling and searching through the counters grabbing the blade which layed under the bleach bottle where all his cleaning stuff was. What was the point in staying clean if it didn't matter at all, he wanted those beautiful cuts to be on his wrists and he needed them. He wanted to draw fucking hearts in his own skin and make himself look perfect.

Willbur shakily gripped onto the blade in his right hand, slowly pulling up his sleeve and pressing the blade against his skin pushing down as hard as he could and moving the blade down in a straight line, avoiding the vein as much as he could not wanting to do anything seriously damaging. He smiled to himself an evil smile as he watched the blood drip down onto the floor.

Looks like he had to reset his Im Sober app in a minute or two.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a month since his diet started and Wilbur joins a discord call and is met with all his friends being worried for him.

Willbur felt like his body was breaking- like he was falling apart by the day. He hardly could move or get up without going to dizzy and his beautiful once long brown hair was fading- his colour turning more black ish than anything and a courter of his hair length gone. 

It had been a month since he started his diet and he was dropping pounds even when he felt as if he had gone too far- he couldn't stop counting the calories. The past six days he ate nothing, not even having the energy to get out of bed. He feels as if its killing him, slowly weighing down on him until hes nothing but a memory of the happy healthy boy he once was. He only wanted to be perfect for summer and now hes nothing but bones, people praise him for his bodychecks online people saying how his bones stick out and so do his hipbones and how he looks so beautiful but Willbur doesn't feel like it- Will feels as if hes just a couple more days of starvation away from his inital goal. But even though hes past that goal, he doesn't see a change in the mirror even though theres a huge one. He never has his face cam on anymore due to insecurites, always thinking he looks to ugly or sick.

His jawlines got way more prominet, but he knows he probably got what he wanted that month ago. To look like a skeleteon. Will sighed and turned on his other side, burying his head in his pillow. He felt as if he ate anything he would just explode, his hipbones aching so fucking much that he feels as if hes shrinking by the second soon going to be nothing but a stick thats on its way to his death bed. He knew he had to stream today with Tommy and Niki plus fundy- they were supposed to be visiting in a couple days and he knew they wanted to check up to see if the plans were still on. Willbur didn't even think he could walk so far to the fucking computer without falling to the ground so let alone walking through Brighton- that seemed impossible to him at the moment. Willbur sighed and slowly got up to walk to his computer, as soon as he fell onto the chair he felt his whole eyes be took over by darkness, after blinking a couple times the dark shadows in his vision slowly dissapeared and he adjusted himself in his chair.

He joined vs2 and quickly muted himself and turned of his camera, than unmuting himself when realising Niki , Tommy, Fundy, George and Dream were waiting there in the call.

"HEY BIG MAN" Tommy yelled into his microphone making will laugh and play with his own hair, Niki giggled a little bit and smiled at her face cam-- which was on. Tommy, Fundy, George and Niki were the only ones showing there face just Dream and me invisible to them nothing but our voices. "WIllbur show yourself." Fundy slurred into the mic making Niki laugh and Dream sound as if he was smiling. "Hey guys, are you still coming to brighton Friday?" Willbur changed the subject as quick as he could, making sure he covered it up with a small snicker. Willbur downed some water that was laying on the computer side- mostly being there for nearly a week. "Yes of course, but show your face we havent seen you in like forever." Tommy chuckled a little and took a sip of his Diet Coke making willbur shiver but slowly turn on his face cam, smiling directly in the camera. 

Tommy's mouth went a gap, Willbur looked so petite even skinnier than himself. His jawline so prominent and his collarbones scarily skinny -- Niki let out a small whimper when she saw willbur, he used to look so fucking healthy and now he looked like if you hugged him the wrong way he would break. Niki knew something was up with him and now it all makes sense, shit was happening with his body. 

George and Dream didn't know what was going on-- but when they saw Willbur they immedailty knew something was up with him. He looked so broken to everyone- even Fundy had to turn of his camera because he started tearing up at his friend that was once filled with light. "What guys?" Willbur asked, worry filling his eyes. Willbur smiled into his camera and took another swig of water, studying the screen and waiting for someone to respond to his light hearted words. Did they really think he had got that fat?  
"Will, you look so fucking skinny." Tommy whispered, the words effected Will grately. Tommy looked up to him and Tommy was scared of him- maybe even scared for him because of what he had become. Willbur shakily placed the water bottle down near his mouse and he felt himself want to say goodbye to them and fucking jump of a bridge but he stayed strong, forcing a smile even though his eyes were tearing up. "Thanks Toms, been on a diet." Willbur looked down at Nikis face cam and the sight he saw broke his fucking heart really- she was trying not to cry even harder, she was trying to stay strong for him.  
"What's the diet? are you living of fucking chewing gum or somethin?" Fundy spoke up making Will not be able to speak; did they crack it or something or was that just a joke? Willbur felt himself start to shake and he quickly moved in his chair and stared away from the camera, only making Dream and George gasp when they noticed Will's collarbone sticking out so fucking promietly. 

"Okay, what is your diet than?" George asked, raising an eyebrow and trying to play it off he wasn't as worried as the others even though he felt like he was going to break. Willbur tried to think of something to say-- he had forgotten about all the foods he used to have now the taste of them fading away a couple weeks prior. Will loved the feeling of hunger and it seemed he didn't really eat anything specific just something that was low calories and easy to eat without throwing it all up. "Uh-" Willbur went silent after trying to speak, everyone knew now. They all knew he went on a diet and by what they're thinking probably they probably just think hes some anorexic freak that never eats, half of it is true but will knew he wasn't a freak, he just counted every calorie that went in his mouth and had fans on his fucking bodychecking account and diet account. Will felt defeated at this time, were they going to take him to a phsyc ward or something like that? "Willbur lift your shirt up, please." Niki mumbled, making Will feel a shiver down his spine. He couldn't , they would be disgusted by the way hes turned out. Sometimes when he looks in the mirror all he sees is fat rolls clinging to his body making him look huge but other times all he sees is bones, you could count every rib on his body if you took his shirt of. But this time today all he saw was fat and he felt so fucking scared-- but he couldn't say no that would just raise suspison. Willbur slowly got up making everyone look weirdly into their laptop screen but watch closely as he took of his top. Willbur tried to suck out as much as he could, trying to make himself look fatter but nothing worked. Everyone felt as if he could literally die any second now.

He hated the looks they all gave him when he put his top back on and fell back on his chair, Niki noticed his unmaid bed in the background and the amount of water bottles scurried around the place not an item of messy food wrappers there- for all they knew Willbur could of not eaten for days and maybe even weeks.

"We're going to have to see you sooner Will."

And that's when Will hung up and turned of his monitor.

Everyone knew his secrets.

He wasn't the therapist friend anymore.

It seemed as if he was the one that needed help.  
And everyone might of not known until it was too late.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> willbur finally breaks.

Wilbur was freaking out- they were going to come to his house and see nothing but him looking like a skeleton. He felt as if he had given up all he could do was fall to his knees and pull at his hair, shaking uncontrollably and hating himself even more for doing this to his friend- he failed them and know they knew the whole fucking truth. He did not know what to do or what to say, he was too scared to even move from the place on his floor. He did not even have any energy to move even to his bed so he could sob under the covers and feel warm as if he were being hugged. He started clawing at his own skin as if he were a cat attacking his owner, smiling when the blood poured out. Wilbur cried a little more, crying but trying to cover it up with a wicked smile that looked unnerving. He did not know why he did this to himself, he fucked himself over by starting this diet.

He used to be so pretty and now he felt as if he looked like a walking skeleton the ones you would see in Supersize Vs Super skinny but even worse, he felt as if he were going to die. He needed help – he craved help, but he was too scared to admit it or speak up. He did not want to gain any weight but at the same time he wanted too because of his friends. He was worried to lose them what if they left him because of the way he was or what if they left him when he became fat again. He wished he could go back a month or two ago when he thought he was perfect, when he was not insecure. He wishes he never came across that stupid fucking post which made him curious, why did he wish to become a skeleton?

Wishes really do come true and he just fucked himself over big time.

He could not stop shaking and shivering, mumbling words over and over thinking that they would make a difference. He was pathetic and he knew it, he wanted to grab the blade and end it all but the fact that he couldn’t even move stopped him. He wished when he was young some guy shot him in the head when he was seven, so he did not have to go through this hell that everyone calls growing up. He didn’t want to see anyone; he didn’t want them to know what he had become even if they knew half of it already.

He felt as if he could not breathe, he couldn’t stop moving. He couldn’t stop clawing at himself, leaving bruises on his body that could be there for months or nearly years. He just wanted to be hugged, like he once was. He just wanted someone to fucking tell him it would be okay, but he knew that he wouldn’t even believe them.

He did not know if he wanted to recover or not in that moment- he didn’t even think he had a future at his point in time.

So, he curled into a ball and rocked himself to sleep, hating the fact that possibly in a couple hours or in the next day George Not Fucking Found could be at his door holding a fucking McDonald’s happy meal up to his face and forcing him to eat it.

**Author's Note:**

> tysm for reading!  
> this was just a vent fic and if anything happens and willbur says hes uncomfortable with stuff like this i'll try to take it down. i might add to the story later i just think that was a good clifthanger for now :)


End file.
